Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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