Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize