so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize