8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
