I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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