Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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