god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i believe in u and ur pee
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
