he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
