The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How external is "for external use only"?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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