a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
