HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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