Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
