he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm too high and old for this...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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