just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
