Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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