You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
