somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
