I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
