And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
