Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
