remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
