we have pet lesbian snakes
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
