He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize