god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize