She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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