he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's just like the Real World with babies
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
