Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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