Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
