Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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