apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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