when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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