Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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