we're blogging at a bar
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need to calm my uterus...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
