are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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