Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
