you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
