Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
