before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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