im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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