In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
