if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
