I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize