Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
