Will you blow on my dice?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
