At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize