just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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