Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
