so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
