Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
