Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
