Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
