school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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