dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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