Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
