I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
