you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
How external is "for external use only"?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
