Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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