it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
