It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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