I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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