i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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