i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
