see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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